what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
