I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
