Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
