Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
