Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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