You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
