Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
