I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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