I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he puts the penis in happiness.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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