He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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