She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
