ya dads aren't the best wingmen
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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