The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
