I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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