God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
