Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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