they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Couch. On fire.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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