I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
