Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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