friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
