it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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