i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
