Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize