also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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