I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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