Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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