some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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