On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize