I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
