Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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