I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I love you.
Bad choice
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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