Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
