i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize