dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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