Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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