I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
