There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
