Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
