I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
