I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
