Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize