Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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