Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
