I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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