I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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