this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
