idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
