Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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