I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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