I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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