He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Come see our sink grown plant.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
