Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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