I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize