I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
