they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize