I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
