Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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