We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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