is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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