She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
this is an emotional support booty call
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
