it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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