i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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