Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
